


For Fear Tonight Is All

by sugawarasenpai



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: AU, Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Canon Divergence, Canon Setting, M/M, Moderately Canon Compliant, clubbing AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-10
Updated: 2015-05-25
Packaged: 2018-03-22 06:05:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3717913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugawarasenpai/pseuds/sugawarasenpai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Canon Divergence AU. Hide drags Kaneki along to a nightclub, and Kaneki just happens to encounter the 20th ward’s Gourmet there for the first time. Drinking, dancing and a very displeased Kaneki. Written for a prompt sent via tumblr by Anon.</p><p>[Sorry, this is officially discontinued! Too much time has passed to rekindle the inspiration.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Anonymous](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anonymous/gifts).



> For some set up: This is a canon divergence AU, Kaneki is at least 20 now, Hide openly knows that he’s a ghoul, he has yet to encounter Tsukiyama and the Aogiri arc never happened/has yet to happen. Also, for the sake of this AU, ghouls can drink hard liquor as long as it’s not a mixed drink. Convenience. So MODERATELY canon compliant. 
> 
> Writing this was a definite challenge, as it’s very out of my element TBQH. I didn’t keep entirely to the prompt given, but I tried to use what I could as inspiration. Sorry if this isn’t what you anticipated Anon! I did try! Second chapter hopefully soon.

 

Kaneki Ken heaved an incredible sigh, though it was easily drowned out by the horribly loud music emanating from, he was sure, all possible directions. This was clearly not his choice of a friday night. Hide, who had dragged him to the club, had grown restless after Kaneki refused to budge from their table and was already lost in the sea of people. Hide had said he’d catch up with Kaneki in a while, but it had to have been near half an hour now since he had last seen his friend.

Kaneki swirled what little was left in his glass, watching as the ice cubes melted into nothing. He wasn’t exactly drunk, clearly nowhere near drunk enough to be enjoying this, but the alcohol did help. Maybe. Or he was just feeling a different kind of miserable.

The music slowed and quieted down, which came as a relief to Kaneki’s worsening headache. He thought briefly of ditching Hide, as his friend appeared to ultimately have abandoned him for the time being, but he knew he couldn’t bring himself to do that. He had skipped out on Hide’s birthday last month when he was feeling out of sorts, and promised to do whatever he’d like once finals were over with.

Hide was always a more outgoing individual. Kaneki should have realized he would drag him all the way out to a nightclub in Shinjuku. Not that he wouldn’t have agreed to go along anyway, regardless of what Hide had decided he wanted to do.

Finally, he caught sight of his friend in the crowd, waving his arms around wildly. He certainly looked like he was having a good time. Kaneki smiled, he was glad for that at least.

As he was staring off at the mass of moving bodies, he realized he had once again caught the eye of a tall, fashionably dressed young man who had greeted him with a wave when they first arrived. Hide had quickly pulled Kaneki along to the bar, giving no time for introductions. Kaneki wondered if the man had mistaken him for someone else. He didn’t know why else he would have approached him.

Now however, it appeared that the stranger was making a line directly toward him. Kaneki looked around, wondering if he could make a quick escape, but he was seated at a far corner table. Trying to make it to the other side of the club or to an exit to avoid confrontation would be terribly awkward at best, even if he could manage. He gathered his nerves instead and busied himself with his phone, scrolling through past texts Hide had sent him. Maybe if he didn’t make anymore eye contact, the stranger would realize he had mistakenly identified him.

“Bon soir!” A dramatic voice exclaimed from above him. No luck with that.

Kaneki had no choice but to look up and give the stranger a pleasant smile. “Good evening.”

Up close, Kaneki realized he wasn’t that much taller than himself, though he did have quite an impressive presence. He was dressed in what appeared to be some sort of designer t-shirt, stylish leather jacket, and distressed black denim. His boots alone, Italian if he were to make a guess, looked like they cost more than a month’s rent. He wondered if this man was someone important. An actor? A model? A musician maybe?   

Honestly, Kaneki was not all too well versed in modern media outside of the literary world. He wouldn’t be surprised if this was some celebrity anyone else would have immediately recognized. That could have been why Hide had tried to avoid him, maybe he knew who he was. Then again, this wasn’t exactly a high profile nightclub.

The stranger smirked at him and Kaneki realized he had probably been staring at him with a bewildered look for quite some time. Some unreachable thought in the back of his mind seemed to be telling him this wasn’t right somehow. The man’s unbroken gaze on him made his skin crawl. Was this a ghoul? That should have crossed his mind before.

“Tsukiyama Shuu,” the man said finally, leaning down so he was heard, extending a hand in greeting.

The sudden close proximity made him shiver. However, Kaneki took his hand briefly and bowed his head, not wanting to be impolite. If this stranger was introducing himself, then clearly Kaneki wasn’t being mistaken for another person. He couldn’t guess what he was being singled out for though. Unless somehow, if he was the same, this man knew. Come to think of it there was something familiar about his name, but Kaneki couldn’t place why.

“I couldn’t help but notice your,” The man said, then paused, his eyes briefly scanning the crowd. “Friend, seems to have vanished on you.”

Without invitation the man,Tsukiyama Shuu, slid into the chair across from him.

“Oh?” Kaneki forced a smile and chuckled nervously. “He’s just preoccupied at the moment, that’s all. I think he met up with some friends from university.” That wasn’t a complete lie, he was moderately sure he had seen Hide dancing alongside a girl he recognized from their history class, though her heavy makeup made it hard to tell for certain.

“You don’t seem to be enjoying yourself very much.” Tsukiyama said, frowning sympathetically and tracing a finger in small circles around a water stain on the table.

“Really, I’m just fine.” He absently scratched at his cheek, nervousness quickly creeping up on him now that this man seemed intent on engaging him. “I’m sorry, but I’m afraid I wouldn’t be very good company, if that’s what you’re looking for.” 

“Oh? Is that so?” Tsukiyama smirked again and the crawling sensation along his spine resurfaced.

He could tell the stress had already begun to affect his hidden eye. His fingers itched to make sure his eye patch was properly adjusted, but he didn’t want to risk the appearance that he was hiding something.

“I’d disagree with that.” Tsukiyama continued, smiling and breathing in deeply. “Considering you’re the only other ghoul I’ve encountered here tonight.”

The music lulled again as his heart raced and for an instant it seemed like time began to slow. He suppressed a gasp, gritting his teeth, trying to calm his nerves. He felt disoriented. How did he know for sure? Keen sense of smell perhaps? He knew other ghouls could often identify each other with ease, Hinami in fact was quite sharp, however that was not a skill he had developed.

“What? I, uh,” Kaneki grasped for a response. “I’m not--”

“Sei incredibile!” Tsukiyama exclaimed, then he flashed his Kakugan in a barely perceptible instant. That was surprising control.  “No need to hide it among comrades, non?”

Kaneki swallowed thickly, searching for some way to deny it or some inoffensive way to take his leave. Knowing for certain this man was a ghoul left him more anxious than before. He had heard stories about this ward from Uta.

“It’s a strange thing, I wasn’t entirely sure at first you know.” Tsukiyama watched him carefully, tilting his head with a smile. “But there is no mistaking.”

“Forgive me,” Tsukiyama said after a pause, bowing his head and making a sweeping gesture with his hand. “But somehow, you remind me of an old friend.”

“Oh?” It was a weak response.

“I was feeling rather out of sorts here myself, you know.” He continued on, oblivious to Kaneki’s disinterest in conversation. “I’m usually not one for a place like this. However the person who brought me along…” He trailed off momentarily, scanning the dance floor. “Seems to have disappeared on me as well. So given our similar positions, I figured you might prove to be a reasonable confidant for the evening.”

Sensing Kaneki’s discomfort and unwillingness to respond, or simply not caring, he continued speaking.

“I must admit, I’m surprised to see someone as,” he paused, gesturing and searching for the words, “timid and mild mannered as you in this ward. I never got your name, by the way.”

“I’m Kaneki. I uh, I’m from the 20th ward, actually.” As soon as Kaneki spoke, he bit his tongue. It was probably foolish to admit that, but it was the first thing he could grasp at to respond to so far.

“Really!?” Tsukiyama exclaimed, grinning wide. “How fascinating, as am I! How much we appear to have in common already. Truly I’m astonished I’ve never met you before, Kaneki-kun. I’ve lived in Nerima all my life. Have you recently relocated, by chance?”

“Ah well, not really.” He rubbed at the  back of his scalp nervously. “I moved there when I was very young.”

“Quelle surprise! Of all the places to finally run into you then, when we’re both out of our element. C’est le destin, ouais?” Tsukiyama chuckled.

Kaneki could tell Tsukiyama didn’t seem to entirely trust his answer and to be honest, he wasn’t entirely sure he knew what Tsukiyama was saying with what little knowledge he had. He could guess well enough though.

“Do you study French then?” He asked, hoping to switch gears so that maybe the suspicion would be drawn away from himself.

“Ah! Oui, French, English and un po' di Italiano.” He straightened up, looking quite pleased at the chance to brag. “Though tragically, I’ve barely found any time to travel and put my studies to proper use.”

“Ah. That’s a shame then. I’ve never traveled too far outside of Tokyo myself to be honest. I imagine one day it might be nice to visit overseas though.” Kaneki admitted, feeling relieved that the conversation was becoming more casual.

“Well, maybe one day we can arrange a trip together in that case!” Tsukiyama spoke enthusiastically, then reined himself in quickly. Kaneki’s expression must have given Tsukiyama the realization that he was acting overly familiar. “Ah, Silly of me! Perhaps in the future. We’ve just met after all, however you really do remind me quite a lot of an old friend.”

“No worries, I can understand where you’re coming from, I think.” He tried to smile. This man was peculiar in every way for a ghoul. Not that all ghouls weren’t peculiar.  

“Which university do you attend?” Tsukiyama asked, changing the subject to recollect himself.

“Ah, Kamii.” Kaneki idly ran a finger along the rim of his empty glass, trying not to feel so uncomfortable with his honesty. He wasn’t a 4th ward ghoul after all and he seemed pleasant enough, despite his quirks.

“Oh? I have an acquaintance there, in fact.” He smiled. “I’m attending Seinan Gakuin, myself.”  

“What do you study? Is your focus in foreign language, then?” He wondered if the acquaintance mentioned was a ghoul, and if that ghoul happened to be Nishio. As far as he was aware, he hadn’t run into any other ghouls at Kamii. Not that it was impossible for them to slip past his radar. After all, he had yet to meet Tsukiyama after all this time.

“Focus? Not really. I’m studying social sciences primarily. Foreign languages are more of a hobby, I suppose. What about you?”

“Literature.” He looked down, studying his hands, feeling strangely ashamed to admit that just now.

“Ah, tres bien!” Tsukiyama gently clapped his hands together, leaning in close. “You take an interest in literature then? I do as well, naturally.”

Kaneki looked up and smiled, probably his only sincere smile the whole evening. “Really?”

“Of course!” He chuckled. “What sort of things do you most prefer to read then, Kaneki-kun?”

“Ah well, I’m particularly fond of Takatsuki Sen’s work. Are you familiar with it?” At times he was nervous to admit his preference for horror fiction and thrillers, but Takatsuki was a best selling, well respected author after all. It was usually a safe enough bet to drop her name. 

“Takatsuki Sen? Bien sur!” He ran a hand through his hair, brushing away the sweat collecting on his forehead. “I was rather taken by Takatsuki’s debut.”

“Me too. I’m currently reading her newest work. Have you read it yet?” Kaneki asked, his enthusiasm evident.  

“Hm? The ‘Hanged Man’-something? No, I haven’t, though I’ve been meaning to. I imagine it’s worth the read?” Tsukiyama replied, looking rather pleased.

“I’d say so, yes. Maybe not her best work overall I admit, but some of the stories may be her most interesting yet.” Kaneki said.

“I have to say, it’s quite refreshing to meet a charming and intelligent young ghoul such as yourself. This is a rare treat.” Tsukiyama said, now beaming at him.

“Oh? Well, I suppose you’re good company as well.” Kaneki was taken off guard by that, although he did have to admit he understood the sentiment. Ghouls weren’t often the best company for conversation. Then again, neither were many humans he had known.

“I’m sure you’ve found most ghouls to be far less … intellectually inclined and well cultured.” Tsukiyama continued, seeming to struggle in choosing his words carefully. “It’s a blessing then that we’ve found each other, don’t you think?”

“Ah, you could put it like that.” Kaneki found this a bit uncouth to discuss, though truthfully he couldn’t disagree.

“Let me buy you a drink, Kaneki-kun.” Tsukiyama stood and bowed, offering his hand to Kaneki.

Kaneki hesitated, but he would feel bad to not accept the offer. “Sure, why not. Thank you.” He let Tsukiyama take his hand and help him up, though the gesture felt awkward.

“Not at all.”

He led Kaneki back up to the bar. Now that he was at the other end of the club, he could spot Hide again finally. Hide caught his eye and waved, then stopped dead, noticing that Kaneki appeared to be accompanied by a stranger. He made his way through the crowd immediately. Kaneki felt guilty.

Catching his breath, Hide slung an arm around Kaneki’s shoulder. “Enjoying yourself yet?” He asked, then looked at Tsukiyama who was hanging back, eyeing him curiously. “Who’s your new friend?”

“Oh, this is Tsukiyama-san, we just happened to meet. He’s a fan of Takatsuki Sen as well.” Kaneki tried to sound as casual as possible.

“Ahhh, another nerd.” Hide chuckled, then nodded in greeting to Tsukiyama. “You can call me Hide. Nice to meet you!”

Tsukiyama hesitated before acknowledging him with a curt bow. “Likewise.” He narrowed his eyes, likely assessing Hide as human. “I had just offered Kaneki-kun a drink, I suppose I’ll extend that to you as well.”

“Thanks!” Hide smiled. “That’d be great!”

Kaneki fidgeted, feeling the tension growing between the three of them.   

Tsukiyama was good on his offer and seemed to shake off his own discomfort with the situation quickly, expertly engaging in conversation. It was clear to Kaneki that his new acquaintance certainly loved to hear himself speak, not unlike Hide in that respect.

Now that Hide had rested some and already drained half of his liquor, he was being his usual talkative self. It helped break the ice, at least until he started harassing Tsukiyama with more prying questions than Kaneki thought was prudent. He knew what Hide was up to, and it was troubling. He’d have to shut Hide up somehow, if he hoped to remain on good terms with this new ghoul. And more than that, he didn’t need a strange ghoul feeling suspicious of his closest friend. He was well aware what they were capable of when they felt threatened.

“Uhm, Hide, maybe--”

Hide was quick to clap a hand on Kaneki’s shoulder, cutting him off. “Come on Kaneki, we’re here, so you should come dance for once in your life!” He laughed, then leaned in close to Kaneki, whispering, “He is, yeah?”

Kaneki nodded, trying to smile casually at Tsukiyama, who he hoped hadn’t heard the exchange. Tsukiyama’s growing irritation was certainly a sign that he had. Kaneki wanted to humor Hide, but he also wanted to play damage control. He bit his tongue, weighing his options.

“I uh, I’ll catch up to you in a minute. That drink went to my head quick.” Kaneki chuckled. His drink was still over half full, and Hide’s eyes went right to it before he gave Kaneki a suspicious look. Thankfully he let it go.

“Alright. Later then, yeah?” Hide smiled, and turned back to the dance floor, waving to signal the girl he was dancing with from before, who up close Kaneki realized was in fact Naoko as he suspected. At least Hide had someone to be preoccupied with.

“I’m sorry about Hide, he can be a bit, hmm, intense?” Kaneki offered in apology to the visibly annoyed ghoul.

“No worries, truly. He seems like a good friend, I suppose.” Tsukiyama chuckled, brushing back his hair, watching Hide move through the crowd. “No need to apologize for his, ah, over protectiveness?”

Kaneki nodded. In truth, he knew Hide was only trying to look out for him. However, he wanted to assure Tsukiyama that Hide was not a threat.

“Kaneki-kun, answer me honestly.” Tsukiyama locked onto Kaneki with an intensity he had yet to see him express, pausing dramatically but not breaking eye contact. “Do you trust him?”

Kaneki’s heart raced and Tsukiyama picked up on it, giving him a predatory look. It made him shudder.

“Yes.” Kaneki tried to sound as convincing and confident in his answer as he could. “I do.”

Tsukiyama nodded. “Very well. I’ll take your word on it then.”

Kaneki took a long swallow from his drink, then looked down into his glass, staring at his unsteady reflection. Suddenly, while he was lost in his own thoughts, Tsukiyama’s fingers reached out and brushed against his own, prying the drink away from him.

“Wha--” Kaneki started, snapping his head up to meet his eyes.

“I’m in agreement with your friend.” Tsukiyama placed the now half full glass at the edge of the bar, discarding it. “If we’re here, we may as well dance, non? It’d be a shame to feel left out and wallow in self-pity all night, don’t you think?”

“Oh, well, honestly I’m really not one for dancing. I can’t imagine I’d be very good at it.” Kaneki looked around for escape, but found none.

“But why? You can learn the steps with ease if you just observe them. And besides,” Tsukiyama moved in close, his arm wrapping around Kaneki’s shoulders, slowly leading him onto the dance floor. “It’s not as if this is some ballroom competition, you just move along to the beat like everyone else here is doing.”

Kaneki searched for something to counter with. “Really, Tsukiyama-san, I’m sure I’d make a fool of myself.” He chuckled nervously, trying to break free of his grasp.

“And they aren’t?” Tsukiyama gestured to the writhing mass in front of them. “You can’t possibly look any more foolish than your Hide and his friends over there, Kaneki-kun!”

Tsukiyama had made a fair point, however something still didn’t sit right with him about being lead to dance with a strange man--no--a strange ghoul that he had just met. He deliberated. If he went along with him, it was more likely to have a favorable outcome.

If he upset or disrespected this ghoul, he couldn’t be sure that he wouldn’t somehow harm him, or worse, harm Hide in return for the slight. It may be an unlikely scenario, but he knew well that ghouls often went hand in hand with irrationality and violence. Nishio was ready to kill both him and Hide for unknowingly stepping into his territory after all. For all he knew this man was a liar, he could very well be a violent, cannibalistic 4th ward ghoul after all. Not that he seemed it. But the risk remained.

If he grabbed Hide and left in a hurry, they could be followed and tracked with ease. Kaneki’s only ally in this part of the city was at best, blocks away. He was scolding himself for his honesty earlier. Now that he was thinking clearly, he realized he had potentially led a wolf to his door.

If Kaneki went along with Tsukiyama, there was little risk outside of embarrassing himself. Tsukiyama could still be a predator, true, but keeping in good faith with ghouls was always the better option when you could help it. His choice was clear.

“Mm. You’re probably right.” Kaneki agreed, allowing the ghoul to lead him into the crowd. “I guess there isn’t any harm in having fun.”

“Bene!” Tsukiyama exclaimed, “Balliamo!”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part two, in which Kaneki gives up rationality and gives in to Tsukiyama's advances.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was going to only be two chapters, but it looks like I'll probably be adding a third. Because of that, this one is a bit shorter than intended, apologies! Thanks for reading.

This was an exceedingly embarrassing ordeal for Kaneki. He hadn’t anticipated doing anything but keeping Hide company tonight, using any excuse he could to remain off of the dance floor. And yet, here he was in a writhing mass of people, dancing with some strange ghoul. Why he bothered assuming the evening would be predictable and _not-that-bad_ was beyond him now. When did anything ever go without a hitch in the plan, especially when it concerned Hide? Kaneki’s life may have flipped completely upside down in quite a number of ways, but Hide still remained a magnet for the unexpected, never letting Kaneki hide too long in his own comfort zone.

This current situation was so beyond absurd that it was almost maddening. If he didn’t go along with this, he could be killed, Hide could be killed. Truthfully this was at best unfounded paranoia, Kaneki tried desperately to remind himself, but he did not feel anything approaching safe so far from Anteiku. Even the most innocuous seeming ghouls could prove to be a threat. Yoshimura and Koma had warned him of this many times. And hearing stories about the kind and amusing Koma he _thought_ he knew well had him very inclined to believe this.

Tsukiyama’s geniality and strangely intimate nature was more suspicious than anything else.

Despite this, Kaneki couldn’t help but feel at least an ounce of guilt for distrusting someone who had so far shown him nothing but kindness, even if it happened to cross some boundaries. Not that he didn’t have his own social ineptitudes, Kaneki’s were just more reserved. He couldn’t deny in another circumstance, he would have been pleased to meet this young man.

After all, if he was being sincere, they did share common interests. As much as Kaneki cared for the young Hinami, it would be nice to have a companion his age who shared his enthusiasm for literature.

“Kaneki-kun,” Tsukiyama leaned in, lips hovering just above his ear, speaking gently. “You’re thinking too much.”

Kaneki’s snapped out of his thoughts instantly, his ears growing hot. “I-I’m fine.” He stuttered, feeling foolish.

“Focus on the music, not on your mind.” Tsukiyama pulled away, though now his hand had made its way to Kaneki’s hip. “Just let yourself move a little.”

Kaneki was _entirely_ sure now that this ghoul intended for him to be dinner. Either that or, well, somehow the alternative seemed a worse thing to dwell on. He was about to have a complete meltdown, his mind now in a dangerous loop of fear mingling with some strange bubbling desire. His stomach twisted up violently and he did the only thing he was capable of in that moment, he laughed.

A grin spread across Tsukiyama’s face at that. “Ah, good to see you’re having fun now.”

Kaneki couldn’t tell if it was a jest or if Tsukiyama had misinterpreted his dissolution of rationality as enjoyment. Either way, it still helped with the tension.

“I guess.” Kaneki offered, returning his grin. “That’s one way to look at it.”

Tsukiyama moved in closer again, and Kaneki could sense the heat from his body. This was, he was sure, the single worst moment of his entire life. And he had very near been through absolute hell during his short time on this earth already. This would be it, he knew. He was certain this would be the moment of his undoing.

It was give up or give in.

Kaneki let himself lean into the ghoul’s touch, bringing his arms up to gently drape them over Tsukiyama’s shoulders. Kaneki tilted his head and met Tsukiyama’s gaze, giving him a teasing smirk. If this was what the ghoul wanted, then Kaneki could play that part. The best to come of it would be making him uncomfortable enough to leave Kaneki be. It was the most innocent and risk-free way he could think to make Tsukiyama question his involvement with him, since playing dumb clearly had no effect. If this was what he had wanted, well, it was certainly better than being a meal.

Just because he didn’t trust this stranger didn’t mean he didn’t _like_ him. The realization that the alternative would be, in fact, a desirable outcome greatly alarmed him.

Kaneki was suddenly aware that his body language, although intentionally suggestive, was indeed flirtatious. He could tell his face was flushed even worse than it had been just before, and was thankful it would be imperceptible in the dim colorful lights of the club. Though he was certain if nothing else, Tsukiyama would pick up on his racing pulse.

“Oh?” Tsukiyama said softly and his grin widened considerably. Kaneki was impressed he could manage to look even more wolfish than he already had.  “What a pleasant surprise.”

“Is this not what you were implying, Tsukiyama-san?” Kaneki asked, trying to keep his tone even and pleasant despite how completely tumultuous his mind felt in the moment.   

“I never implied a thing, Kaneki-kun.” Tsukiyama gave a chuckle and smirked, his free hand finding Kaneki’s waist, gripping it with an almost startling demand. “Though I’d be lying if I said this wasn’t a satisfying development. _C’est fantastique_.”  

Kaneki shut his eyes against the intense dizzying feeling, hoping the lack of light and motion would give him a minute to recover. However it did nothing for the pounding in his chest and the rushing, swimming feeling coming over the entirety of himself.  This wasn’t the dancing or the loud music or the flashing light’s doing, and he was keenly aware of that.

He wondered what it was about himself that seemed to not only attract, but also elicit desire toward predatory ghouls. This was certainly not the first time he let his wish for some more cultured companionship cloud his judgement and quickly turn into what he was pretty sure was lust, despite his complete reluctance to face the truth of it. The last time Kaneki gave into these sorts of feelings the results were, to put it lightly, disastrous.

And yet, here he was.

Tsukiyama leaned in close to his ear again, “Relax. No need to get so worked up. The night is young, _mon cher_.”

A shudder ran through Kaneki, and he cursed every nerve in his body for betraying sensibility. He was torn between breaking the embrace and quite literally running out the door to gulp down some fresh air, and hopefully return some of his sense, or just giving in entirely and closing what little space was left between their bodies. The thought made him suddenly and intensely aware that it was merely only heat that separated them at this point.

Tsukiyama made the decision for him, closing the almost imperceptible gap between them, hips brushing together just gently enough to be unsatisfying, but still enough to make Kaneki feel like his body was going to ignite. His pulse quickened again, and he felt the familiar twinge erupt in his lower back, threatening to release his kagune. He was gripped with fear at the sensation, knowing that despite everything else, he needed to get out of here, he needed to _breathe_.

Tsukiyama’s fingers instinctively brushed against the heated, trembling muscles that were fighting to keep his kagune sheathed. Kaneki let out the breath he was holding in with a groan of relief at the touch. The contact was surprisingly soothing.

“Careful now,” Tsukiyama chuckled, lips ghosting against the shell of his ear. “You don’t want to make a scene now, do you?”

Tsukiyama’s fingers kneaded gently at the skin around his kakuhou, bringing another shudder and groan out from Kaneki and causing an even more intense wave of embarrassment to wash over him. His eyes felt too heavy to open, and it felt too difficult to even think straight let alone trust himself to speak. The sensations overwhelming him weren’t entirely unfamiliar, but still confusing enough to make him lose his bearings.

Without breaking the soothing touch of his fingers, Tsukiyama gently nudged Kaneki to keep moving in time with himself. “Is this better, Kaneki-kun?”

Kaneki managed to swallow thickly, eyes fluttering open to meet Tsukiyama’s gaze, a move he instantly regretted. The ghoul was staring at him _voraciously_ , excitement evident in his stare. Together with the contact, it made Kaneki feel weak and eager and near hysteric. For a moment, Kaneki thought he had begun to tremble, only to realize it was Tsukiyama.

“Maybe,” Kaneki rasped out, dazed but finally finding his voice again, “we should slip outside for some air?”

**Author's Note:**

> I always appreciate comments and kudos so thank you in advance for any you may leave. I will accept concrit on any of my works, and will try and answer questions in comments when I can. I do request that you don't be too harsh with crit as I'm just getting back into the swing of fic writing after a near three year slump. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! I'll try and get the next half finished soon.


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